2. Use the Emotional Map to write a Letter to yourself.
when you feel guilty, depressed or angry at yourself, wirting a Letter to YOURSELF is a powerful self-healing technique. Use the Emotional Map to fully express yourself in the Letter. This is a helpful means of ensuring that suppressed or repressed feelings do not make you emotionally shut down.
although i know that i'm definitely emotionally shut down, this is a good time to try the Letter. and i'm sharing it with all of you. sorry if it's hard to read.
Dear Min,
ANGER - you're are more than an idiot, you don't even have a heart! i'm really angry at you - do you think you're the only one living on this Earth? there are other people to consider, other people to care for, not just you yourself! and then all you can do is to keep complaining that nobody cares for you and you can't trust this person that person but in the end your bare your whole soul to whoever it is and then you get hurt and the whole cycle repeats itself! min, why can't you just accept things the way they are? you can't put them back to what it was like then. it's all changed! min, can you just stop saying mean things to people just to please yourself? why do you onlying know how to think for yourself? grow and start being like a real person! and do you really think you're so pretty, so amazing, so clever, so good? you freaking not! get a life and stop harping on these stuff!
HURT - it hurts me when i see you being left out from other people, min. but you must know this is yout own fault. if you'd know how to love people fervently and think about what your are going to say this will not happen. it is painful to see you withdraw from doing everything you love whenever you faced rejection from your peers. i know how your feel when you aren't getting want you want but still you have to put people first, not yourself. i know you are always on the verge of tears whenever somebody scolds you, and you try so hard to hide it. i feel sad when you keep hiding your sadness and disappointment from other people, that you don't want to let them know. you should know that even so, your friends will still know what you really feel. it hurts to see you criticise yourself so much to the point of going crazy.
FEAR - min, i'm afraid for you. i'm afraid you'd go on hurting yourself like this and affecting people around you. i'm afraid you won't be able to change your thinking and affect your life all the way to adulthood. i'm afraid that if you don't come out to the open about what you really feel, more people will just misunderstand you and you'll try to solve the problem but it will all get mixed up again. i fear that you won't be able to love someone again, because of all your past hurts and failures. i'm scared that you will try to keep pushing to be your best and won't take anything for granted because of the past chances you were given and did not make full use of.
REGRET - i'm sorry that i allowed you to turn out this was, that i brought you to be like this. i'm sorry that i wasn't there to help you when you were at the lowest time of your life. i'm sorry that you didn't have a satisfactory secondary school life and you were hurt by many people in many ways. i'm sorry for making you an insecure person depedant on praises of other people. i'm sorry that you're so sensitive to rejection. i'm sorry to keep making you strive to be the best and hurting you in the process. i'm sorry i don't let you know how important you are actually to me and not giving you the love you really deserve. please forgive me for putting you through all these troubles!
INTENTION - i want you to start loving people, but also start loving yourself and caring yourself in the right way. i want you think of other people's feelings before you start shooting your mouth of and consider the consequences first. i want you to know that rejection from friends may not exactly a bad thing and that you should be so affected by it. i want you to know that there are people there to support you, just that you should ask the right people and you can also depend on your family. i want you to trying loving people in truth again, even though you think you can't.
LOVE - min, you should know that i love you, and that Jesus loves you even more than you can imagine. you can brighten people's lives in the right time, and you actually make a difference in the world. thank you for being honest with yourself and other people and daring to come out and write this letter. thank you for willing to learn and accept the truth. i hope that you would take my advice and live life peacefully to the fullest without overexerting on yourself.
wow. it's a huge risk to post this. just a request. if you have only bad things to say about this, keep it to yourself. i can't take anymore rejections.
lijie, here's your song! takes awhile to load.
if you read through the lyrics, it's so true. but it's not right to wallow in it. love hurts?
agape'o
love heals.
完全的爱 Agape’o
by 何耀姗, Sun Ho
红著双眼 我低头不语 /一阵一阵哭著痛著 脆弱心里
白色的衣服 已沾湿泪滴 /一步一步走著拖著 疲乏身体
深绿树木 却充满灰烬 /一棵一棵排著列著 好像监狱
乌黑的人影 已染灰大地 /一群一群 站著围著 屏住气息
有男有女 从身旁过去 /似乎等待 这无法避免的悲剧
无风无雨难得好天气 /四处弥漫 令人不舒服的空气
一呼一吸我微弱喘息 /一点一滴 仔细想昨日的过去
忽远忽近 我已看不清 /到底那里 是我最后的目的地
身体好软弱 痛越来越多 /不知道我是否撑得过
泪光在闪烁 从前转眼过 /你的心难道上了锁
你有没有过 如此的寂寞 /个人独自的伤心难过
从来没犯错 却要受折磨 /这样到底是对是错
你曾经是否 用心的思索 /我给你的爱比你多
你这样对我 叫我怎么说 /爱一个人并非懦弱
你曾经是否 用心思索 /你爱自己胜过你爱我
你这样对我 叫我如何做 /依然不放弃这承诺
爱可以如此完美 /Love heals oh
